At over 2 hours 50 minutes, I had already made up my mind before the opening credits, that there was little hope of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice getting a good review.

With a sense of smugness my instincts on this occasion served me well.

Marvel might have sweated a little at the prospect of the Man from Krypton battling the Bat of Gotham, but they can now rest easy. It would be truly an unbelievable feat to top how bad Zack Snyder’s (300, Watchmen) superhero spectacle is. What an unbelievably incoherent, chaotic, senseless, humourless, mindless mess, that not only squandered my well-earned time, but also that of its cast.

There is little to applaud in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice for: Ben Affleck is perpetually grumpy, maybe due to the extreme diet and workout he had to endure to beef up for the role. Someone give him a good meal, please. Similarly Henry Cavill rocks his honed muscles, but what he has gained in muscle definition he is found wanting when it comes to personality and charisma. We know he has the weight of the world on is shoulders (check the fixed frown throughout), and he’s a tortured soul, but everything is relative, especially when you are the most powerful being on a planet. In fact, an earlier incarnation of Superman actually spins the earth backward to go back in time to save Lois. How hard can life be!

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